How to Seek Treatment for Bipolar Disorder

During a recent talk regarding my book, "Blessed with Bipolar," I was stumped by the question, "How does a person get to where you are now from where you were in the psych ward?" I actually have a 380 page answer to that question. What stumped me was the question behind the question: "How do I get my bipolar daughter into treatment?"

It is a great irony of bipolar disorder that while it is perhaps the most treatable of mental illnesses, those of us who have it often wholly reject even the mention of "getting help." When we're on a manic high, we don't see any need for treatment. When we're crushed with depression, we think we're too far gone for it to do any good. And when we are in a mood-swung, irascible and erratic temper . . . well . . . "see a counselor" is fightin' words.

But the question of how to persuade a bipolar loved one to seek treatment deserves a response. Here's my attempt:

• Don't try to convince her that she is mentally ill. Anybody in their right mind would rebel against that reasoning. This approach will just get you a long list of reasons why she thinks you are wrong. Nobody wants to think of themselves as mentally ill.

• Acknowledge the hard and courageous struggle she has put up against whatever legitimate adversity there is in her life. She has kept trying to succeed on her own in many ways. And sometimes has. She needs to know that you recognize that.

• Let her know that you believe in her goals and that the emotional pain in her life seems to be an obstacle in the way of achieving those goals.

• Suggest treatment as a way to achieve goals rather than a cure for mental illness.

• Look at the situation as a "family issue" and offer to go into treatment with her. This may be difficult for you because I am not suggesting that you attend counseling sessions as a 'co-therapist' for your loved one. Let the counselor do the counseling. I'm suggesting that you seek treatment with her to address the difficulties in your relationship with her. That requires you to own responsibility for part of the problem, to see the role you play in it, and to work at making effective changes in your own thinking and behavior. That may sound like a challenge to you. And it is. But it's no different than the challenge you are making to your bipolar loved one. What's it worth to you?

Convincing a loved one to seek treatment for bipolar disorder is no easy task. I had enough good times to believe that I was mostly healthy and too much pride to seek help when I was not. The steps above may not work, but they are worth a try. At the very least, it is a good way to approach the treatment issue without the usual "I'm not crazy!" screaming match.

Richard Jarzynka is the author of "Blessed with Bipolar." He has used the disorder to help him counsel clients; run a marathon; grow in his faith; and earn a masters degree in psychology, a scholarship to Law School, and a football scholarship. To learn more about his book visit http://www.bipolarman.org